Coachella?

Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella?

Follow the rest of LA out to the desert this weekend, are you?

Well, it seems like everyone is heading out to Coachella.

For those of you that aren't in the loop, Coachella is a big music festival which has been going on for quite some time now.

Usually, its a bunch of emo bands, and electro DJs out in Indio California, hanging out at pool parties during the day, and performing by night....with a bunch of drugs and after-parties happening until the early morning.

Personally, I'm not a fan, so I don't want to shit on those of you who are.

Having said that, there are more bandwagoners (don't even know if that's a real word but fuck it) who are only going because everyone else is going (how cool is that?).

Some people have been a part of the Coachella movement for sometime now, while many others read about it, hear about it, and follow the masses.

That's just straight-up corny.

If your favorite band or group is there then by all means, go see them.....however, if you see everyone else going and you know nothing about it, then stop being a poser and be your own person.

That last statement is truly at the core of my belief system....be your own person and stop jumping on the bandwagon.

Once the masses see things as being cool or hip....its pretty much over and done with.

Now I'm going to start seeing endless amounts of Facebook updates about "Coachella"...oh please...next!!!!

Sometimes when you start to see everyone you know go left, that's exactly the time you should be heading right! Think about it.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Groupon + Voyeur = Sh*t Show

Whoa!!!

I mean, just when I thought I've truly seen it all, along comes something that stop and makes you think.

Is Bottle Service over and done with?

I'm guessing the answer is YES.

When one of the more (so-called) exclusive venues in the Hollywood/West Hollywood, has to resort to Groupon, Living Social or even Craig's List in order to get you to come in and purchase bottle service; then my friends, it truly is time to think about completely doing away with Bottle Service.

Can you believe the Bottle Service offer West Hollywood nightlife venue Voyeur, currently has running right now on Groupon?(Click on the venue photo above to see for yourself)

I'm guessing times are hard, real hard from the looks of it. However if you're still doing bottle service at this stage of the game, then please take advantage of this amazing offer....and be sure to tell all your friends in the San Fernando Valley about it as well.

Bottle Service has to be coming to an end in Hollywood.

If you base your entire revenue model on hiring 12 promoters a night, issuing them all two free bottles at a table each (to quote/unquote "create energy"), then everyone that they invited are basically drinking for free...which in turn means that you as a business owner aren't making any money because you have to pay the promoters their percentages, for bringing in people who just spent no money at all.

Which then means you need two or three big whales to come in and drop a lot of money on a table, to help financially support your night and cover your operational cost.

I did not attend Harvard Business School, but I do know that model cannot keep your business running smoothly over a long period of time.

And you wonder why these places close down every six months.

Oh well. Its not my money, and I don't party with the tourist any way.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Can Paul & Andre's Change Hollywood Nightlife?

I'm guessing many of you are wondering; what is Paul & Andre's?

Quick history lesson: NYC nightlife impresarios Paul Sevigny and Andre Saraiva (Don Hill's, Kenmore, Beatrice Inn, Le Baron) have opened a new Hollywood nightspot (the old Cinespace venue, whereby you enter around back) called Paul and Andre.

Now, what's interesting about Paul Sevigny and Andre Saraiva is that they (along with Matt Abramcyk) created/opened "the Beatrice Inn".

The Beatrice Inn opened as a reaction to the abundance of bottle service clubs in NYC like Cain, Pink Elephant, Stereo and Tenjune that had suddenly overwhelmed New York nightlife.

Suddenly the biggest party in town had shifted from the clubs to a small, defunct Italian restaurant in the West Village. Hipsters and their ilk rejoiced, while the bridge and tunnel, fist pumping crew didn't really get it.

What's interesting is the current landscape in the Hollywood nightlife scene is sort like the NYC bottle service clubs I just mentioned.

There are currently well over 35 - 40 venues in the Hollywood/West Hollywood area, all of which cater to the bottle service crowd, as part of their business/revenue model.

Is it safe to say that the Hollywood nightlife market is a tad bit over saturated with bottle service venues? The answer is yes!!!

Are many of these venues going under, yes! However, as soon as one venue closes, two more pop up to take its place.

This brings me back to original question: Can Paul & Andre change the Hollywood nightlife scene? I feel the answer is both yes & no.

I have visited their venue three times in the past two weeks, and while they have been able to tap into the early influencers and hipsters (which is key, when starting a new movement or concept), I just don't see the staying power in Hollywood.

Can their vision and concept shake up the Hollywood scene, yes. Will it be the driving force to put the stake through the heart of SBE and kill their, cookie cutter nightclubs? Not at all.

The real problem I see for the Houston Brothers, Paul & Andre, Sean MacPherson & Jared Meisler and Med Abrous (maybe not so much Med Abrous) is that, if you are locked down for multiple years, in a $28k - $38k a month lease (because you are in the center of Hollywood or West Hollywood)....then just how long can you last serving hipsters $12 - $16 drinks?

Hipsters and so-called tastemakers don't spend any money. They tend to sneak in brown paper bags to your bar or lounge. And when I left P&A's around 1:30am, I asked the security guard what the "in-count" was (meaning the total number of people through the door) up until that point...he replied "225"...and there wasn't 225 people upstairs btw.

My point is that, unless you have deep pockets, it is very hard for these places to operate, when you have $28k a month leases, labor costs of $1k a night, $450 a night for a DJ, and then the the cost to alcohol.

It becomes extremely difficult to stay "cool" when Hipsters are buying one drink then leaving to either go to the eastside bar, or the Brand New Bar/Club/Lounge. Hipsters like to hang around for a month or so, before they become done & over with something, then it's on to the next venue.

That uber cool hipster market is extremely tiny and all of the above mentioned owners and directors are fighting for the pieces of that pie. However just how profitable is it?

When you have bottle service venues in Hollywood like: MyStudio, MyHouse, Supperclub, PlayHouse, Colony, etc. Making north of $56k+ a night, while the hipster bars just might bring in $1,900 a night (maybe).

Personally, I hope they do change things in Hollywood. I just haven't seen it done (yet, of course).

New York City has: Boom Boom Room, The Bunker, Le Baron, Don's Hill, St. James, Lit, Cabin, Kenmare and Le Bain.

LA has: Harvard & Stone, Spare Room, Roger Room, Bronson Bar, Piano Bar, etc.

Keep your eye on Paul & Andre's movement, it just might catch on and change the Hollywood nightlife scene.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Attention: Ladies

60% of the time....it's all your fault.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I hear women mention, that they are tired of going out to Hollywood clubs and bars, and are constantly harassed by loser guys.

Easy now Rainbow Bright.

Let's examine the whole situation.

I am not, in anyway sticking up for, nor defending how guys act in certain situations, however I would like to make you see things from a guy's point of view (if I may).

Now, a guy (or guys) primarily go out for two reasons, I like to call it: "D&F" (drinking and fucking).

Guys want to go out have a few drinks and have sex by the end of the night (for the most part).

The drinking part always seems to handle itself. It comes very easy for guys to hit the bar and quickly check that off the list.

The having sex part is a bit of a challenge for most men.

You see, most guys aren't that smooth and don't have very much game.

So what usually ends up happening is that they tend to talk about themselves and make shit up on the spot (i.e., "I'm a casting director", "I'm a movie producer", "I'm Brad Pits personal assistant", etc.).

All of this is done in order for women to sleep with us guys by the end of the night.

Now, what makes it really difficult are some of the outfits that you women wear, and how you handle yourselves after you yourselves have a few drinks as well.

The less you wear, the stiffer the shaft in our pants gets, then all the blood in our body rushes in that area, and we tend not to think straight when that happens.

Facts, figures, and simple logic that seem reasonable during day light hours, but seem to go right out the window once guys see a short tight dress with boobs all over the place.



I am not saying cover up completely, "if you've got it flaunt it" is the term my grandmother used to say.

However, understand the fact that guys are going to start becoming a little more aggressive the more drinks they have and the less you are wearing.

A nice tight ass and tits that look like fresh honeydew melons, in a super tight short dress is exactly what I wanna see when I go to a strip-club, but don't be shocked when some guy's fingers starts trying to explore certain areas of your body after he buys you a drink, and strikes up a conversation later.

Women want to dance, have a few drinks and have an attractive, funny guy hold their interest.

While guys want the "D&F", and if they can't get the "F" that I mentioned earlier, then the other "F" word which will happen is a "fight".

Fights usually happen towards the end of the night.

You will never see a fight take place at the beginning of any night (unless its a personal issue between two people with a prior history).

When guys know that they won't be getting any sex at the end of the night, they are forced to masturbate (again), or go to the strip-club (then masturbate later), or hit up the Craig's List "erotic" section to pay a call girl/hooker to finish him off. All of this can drive a guy crazy.

So ladies, I'm just saying....before you begin to tease those guys at the bar inside a nightclub for free drinks, or coke, or your car payment, or whatever the case maybe...just remember...you are not dealing with guys who are looking at things rationally.

Cover up the boobs (a little), hike down the skirt (a little), and don't overly tease or play dumb in order to get what you want.

You just never know how some guys act when there is a major lack of blood flow to their brain.

This is one of the best methods to fight off loser guys.

Have fun!

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Female Promoters

Can female promoters really be successful in the Hollywood nightlife scene?

The answer is "NO" in my opinion.

Here's why:

The Hollywood nightlife scene formula is pretty simple. It primarily relies on two very important things:

1. Hot girls
2. Tables (aka Bottle Service)

A nightclub 85% of its revenue from table sales (bottle service), while the remaining 15% comes from walk up bar sales.

Usually men are the ones reserving a table and ordering bottle service. An average table (depending on the number of people, guy/girl ratio, bottle minimum, etc.) tends to cost roughly $1,200; and if a venue has 20+ tables then you can do the math.

It adds up very quickly.

Now, if men are usually paying for the tables, what keeps the guys buying the bottles at these tables, are the girls who are dancing around/mingling with the guys at the table(s).

I included that last line to help highlight the need for the "hot girls". Because you need hot girls around to not only make the venue look great and appealing, but also to keep the guys spending money.

One of the hardest things to do is to constantly keep a string of "hot girls coming out to your venue every single day/week.

This is why promoters randomly select girls off Facebook, and spam them with event invites, because you have to fill these venues up with pretty faces.

No "hot girls", no guys spending money for bottle service, equals venue closed and out of business.

My original point, is that female promoters usually aren't successful in Hollywood for two reasons as I see it.

1. Girls tend to be petty and don't like other girls (I'll explain this later).
2. Most guys don't respect them and just want to fuck them.

To my first point, girls just cannot get a long with other girls. I have always noticed that girls usually don't have a lot of girlfriends (if they are single). Girls tend to have more guy/male friends (again, if they are single). If a girl is in a relationship, then she'll usually have more female friends.

Now since girls don't like girls, that means that they are unable to bring out "hot girls".

So that leaves open the idea that guys will book tables through female promoters (yes, but if she is mildly attractive then guys will want to fuck her by the end of the night, and quite possibly the middle of the afternoon).

But then what happens when those guys realize that they can't fuck her, then she's pretty much deleted from their contact list.

Venue owners/management base their payouts on what the promoter can produce. If a female promoter cannot produce tables & hot girls then they are gone.

Question: name a current successful female promoter in Hollywood?

That's right, you can't name one. And if you even mention Sarah Pantera I will slap you.

Every venue owner in Los Angeles county knows that she is good for an opening night only (maybe), because by week two or three the owners/management are calling all over the city to hire other promoters to help out whatever night she's on, or they end up firing her (FACT). Plus, a supermodel she is not!

Also, one of the major drawbacks with female promoters is that they tend to bring out a ton of guys to whatever event/night that they are doing (because its a lot easier for them to bring out guys, rather than girls).

As you can see, being a female promoter in this town isn't easy.

I say ladies, continue working hard and push those events to the best of your ability. Hopefully it'll pay off in the end.

If all else fails ladies, there is always Drai's in Hollywood. They welcome everyone as long as they are still walking, talking, breathing and can pay their cover charge.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

After Party

What makes Hollywood night life somewhat lame, is the fact that all bars, clubs and restaurants stop serving alcohol before 2am.

So, what is there to do once the alcohol stops flowing?

You guessed it, "after party".

Now, usually at the end of any given night life gathering, you will find people texting various addresses to various random houses or apartments in and around Hollywood Hills, Beverly Hills, Bel Air or even Downtown LA.

What usually happens is, people will bounce around from house to house in order to find the house with the most alcohol, music and people (as well as, the correct guy/girl ratio).

What is there to see and do at an after party you ask, well here is a brief list:
-Drugs (usually blow or "E")
-Drink (bottles of vodka is what you will see primarily)
-Music (either from an iPod or an actual DJ spinning)
-Fucking (most guys will take what they can get, when they can get it)

Let me expand on the "Fucking" example.

Now, most people don't always fuck at after parties. Sometimes a girl may want a bump (i.e, a line of coke) and a guy may have some, yet she doesn't have any money....so sometimes a douche bag guy might ask her for money or to work it off in trade (you follow what I mean?).

More times than not, a guy may just get a girl (or even another guy) just drunk enough to give him a blow job (this is Hollywood...let's not be shocked by penis' in people's mouth after hours....we've all walked in on it happening once or twice).

Overall, the after party, may just be the party that you may actually want to attend.

You've seen the facebook photos ;)

Does Hollywood nightlife change you?

Time for a little Q&A session.

Question of the day today is: Does the Hollywood nightlife scene change you?

I pose this question based on several different factors.

It almost seems that everyday there are hundreds of young men and women from all over the country that see these reality shows and want to be the next "Situation" or "Kardashian".

Most of these youngsters come from middle America, or parts unknown. All with a dream and a hope to become famous.

What usually ends up happening is that they hang on for about a year before this city spits them out and they'll end up going back to the town from which they came.

I have always noticed that it's always people from other places who complain about people being "so Hollywood", when in fact most people that are born and raised in LA never use those terms (for the most part, not always).

What you'll notice sometimes in the Hollywood nightlife scene, is a lot more attitude, a lot more drama, a lot more "fake/superficial" type stuff.

When in fact, these young men and women were probably the shit back in their little home towns, however when they land in Hollywood, they are average to below average at best.

So the question remains, does Hollywood change you?

I understand that its a tough world out there and that most people when they arrive have a small amount (if any) friends at all. So many of them want to fit in and don't want to be alone.

Which then leads to them doing lines of coke with wannabe movie producers or casting directors and afterwords letting them squirt in your asshole raw.

This town has a ton of people that like to name drop, but at the end of the day they usually don't know anyone and no one knows who they are either.

So does the Hollywood nightlife scene change people, hmmm...tough to say.

Now if only half of these posers would just pack up and go back to Ohio, then perhaps the 405 freeway would a better place to travel along from time-to-time.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Remember Xenii?

For those of you who have never heard of Xenii, let me give you a brief history overview.

Back in 2004 Michael Sutton & Ron Perry started an exclusive members only, Hollywood after-hours party, that was at a different location every weekend.

Women had to be hot and well connected to gain entry, and men had to pay a membership fee of roughly $5,000 a month.

What did you get for that high membership fee? Well, think about it like this...if you have ever watched the Oscars and right after the Oscars the winners and everyone involved goes directly to the governors ball.

Xenii was like the Oscars governors ball; all you can eat food, total open bar, celebs and live entertainment starting at 1am and ending around 8am and enough cocaine to wipe out a small nation.

In the beginning there were A-List celebs at Xenii, then it began to dip off a little.

When everyone and their mother found out about it (like everything else, when the masses hear about it) it was over.

Once the rappers and professional athletes started to make it their home, all the hot girls stop coming. And if you are charging $5k a month with no hot girls then your so-called members will end their membership ASAP.

Basically it was an opportunity for people to pay money to party with celebrities, publicity flaks to get ink, party boys to meet B-girls, a place for people to become known and everyone feel exclusive and important in the tradition of studio gates.

Xenii's manifesto was:

Xenii is a private society, not open to the public.
Individuals are accepted into Xenii based on the strengths of their relationships with trusted members, and the qualities and attributes they bring to the Xenii Community.



A smart business move was when they sold Xenii to Microsoft aka Wallop.com. FYI, Wallop.com ended in 2008, which was around the time that Xenii came to an end.

I mention Xenii in this blog post because, I have seen so many "wannabe Xenii" posers, so I thought, why not educate you on one of the originals.

These corporate Blackberry BBM Lounge parties would like to be like Xenii, but they are not. Whenever you have corporations come in and try their hand at being cool, they usually end up failing (look at what happened to Wallop.com).

Click on the above pictures for more details.

And for those of you who can remember your Xenii login info be sure to click on the last photo.



This will be my last post, until my next post.

Late Night Sex?

Just how far do the bottle service nightclub hostess go to earn their money?

Usually most people that work at a Hollywood nightclub make minimum wage (i.e., bartenders, bar backs, security guards, bottle service girls, etc.).

They make most, if not all of their money via tips.

It is no secret that most of the people that are hired at nightclubs and bars are hired purely based on how they look.

This has a lot to do with the image that the venue wants to project, as well as correlates with the amount of tips they can receive.

However, how far do these "Bottle Service Hostess" go to earn those "big" tips?

There are some stories floating out there that venue management strongly encourage their girls to go beyond flirting to have that "big spender", "whale" or "baller" spend as money as he can.

Have many of these girls had sex, or exchanged sexual favors in order to personally benefit themselves, as well as the venue? The answer is YES!

In Hollywood, the average time span for a "big spender", "whale" or "baller" is roughly one year. In that time frame they will have the biggest and best tables at all the Hollywood hot spots in town. They will have been invited to all the major parties. That is until their credit cards no longer work, and their bank accounts have dried up.

Once you have ran out of money then the venue owners/management stop sending the girls over to your house/hotel rooms for pre-game dinners and after-hours late night partying with all the nose candy you want. They'll move on to the next sucker.

For the bottle hostess they'll get their bills paid, shopping sprees at high-end boutiques, and cash money.

Think about it...a "whale" walks into your nightclub and drops over $55,000 at a table, for one night. Doesn't it make sense to make sure that this guy and his friends are happy, and continue coming back the following night, and the following night, etc.?

From a business stand point you are going to give him whatever he asks for, right?

If you are the bottle service hostess for that table you are going to get possibly a $5,000 tip just for that table.

So you mean to tell me if this guy asks you to hang out with him afterwords, or he asks for your phone number that you are going to say "NO"? Duh, you usually go home making $40 - $60 a night (on a slow night).

Remember that Macy's bill, and your student loans....yeah, this guy is about to help you out with that problem...you just have to help him with his problem.

You see after spending $50k, he really wants to find out if his 5 inch cock can fit inside your tiny little asshole.

For a few thousand dollars, I'd say you'll give him three tries to find out.

Hell, you just let some wanna be actor kid, who just moved to Hollywood from Idaho fuck you for free...at least you'll get your bills taken care of after this casual/business encounter.

So what's the difference between a bottle service hostess and a girl who works at a strip club? Honestly, in my opinion, its the exact same job.

I could mention stories about a "big spender" by the name of Carlos from Seattle who would spend $25k - $35k every night at various night clubs in Hollywood.

The days when Les Deux was at its peak and a guy named Dutch would drop several thousand a night then continue the party back at his hotel room at the Roosevelt over looking the pool.

SBE likes to push those house music nights because they know that their clientele database of $15k+ table spenders will drop that kind of money on those nights and events.

At the end of the day, its a business. It a business move for the girls and its a business for the venue owners.

Just remember fellas, everyone has a price.



This will be my last post, until my next post.

Here we go...

Warning:

It's about that time!

You know what I'm talking about.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, you are now about to get the invites, text messages, and Facebook invites for, the all important: NEW YEARS EVE PARTY(s).

Most of you know exactly what I mean.

The ever so important "tickets are going fast", "this event will sell out soon", "get your tickets through me, use my link", "I'll deliver the hard tickets to you personally". WACKNESS!

Listen, every New Years Eve event is all the same, don't let the Craigs List hustlers or the Facebook Z-listers tell you anything different.

They will promote the same lame ass nightclub you were just partying at the night before, only to now tell you that the cost is $150, and the party will end at 2am (just like every other night).

The two major draws that they'll use to get you to buy tickets will be:

1. an open bar (either until midnight or until 1:45am)
2. some eurotrash house music DJ whom you have never heard of


If you really don't care about the cost of the tickets, and you would like to ring in the new year with the San Fernando valley peeps, then pay no attention to what I'm saying.

However, if random house music, over priced tickets, fat chicks named Melissa, who like to smoke Camel cigarettes unfiltered, along with guys named Phil, who usually likes to play Dungeons & Dragons on Saturday nights and watch WWE highlights...are totally not your scene...then don't buy into the hype.

Hey fellas, most of you are just better off spending that $100+ at your local "rub & tug" aka Asian Massage Parlors. Because lets face it, you just want to get laid at the end of the night anyway, and sometimes "Cinemax" just ain't cutting it anymore.

Ladies, more than likely you'll be going out that night with a group of your girlfriends, who will all be super dressed up and ready to drink and dance all night long.

However, one of the girls in the group will either get too wasted and one of you will have to babysit her most of the night; or you'll meet some out of town fellas who will offer you all some blow back at their hotel room and you'll more that likely end up letting them stick it in all three holes at some point in the evening/early morning.

But more than likely you'll end up texting your ex-boyfriend to come over and violate you because you are so wasted (yeah, right).

JUST SAY NO!

Just say no to the bullshit party invites.

Just say no to the nonsense of "buying now before the prices go up" rhetoric. When in fact, that's just a load of crap they tell you so that you can buy tickets earlier.

Just say no to the paying a bunch of money to party at the EXACT SAME VENUE you were just at the day before, for free.

In this rough economy, I suggest that you just stay home, save your money and send these venues a message. Think about it.

But hey, its your NYE, do with it what you wish.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Help Wanted?

Do you want to make some extra cash?

Are you a "people person"?

Do you like to have fun?

Do you like music?

Do you like going out at night, instead of playing online poker or your new Wii system?

Are you on "The Facebook"?

Do you have a cellphone?

Do you know how to send mass texts?

Can you speak English or Farsi?

Do you have a Tweeter account?

Can you walk and talk at the same time?

Do you know how to hand out drink tickets to underaged girls or host a table?

Do you know how to spell USC or UCLA?

Do you like partying at: HWood, Cabana Club, PlayHouse, MyHouse, MyApartment, MyHotelRoom, MyDoctorsOffice, MyFriendsCondo and Kress?

Well, if you answered yes to all of the above questions, then click on the above photo for more details.


This will be my last post, until my next post.

Step Right Up...

This has failure written all over it.

I know that SBE wants to keep that (Sunday afternoon at XIV) money train moving along, however since that has now come to an end, they have created "CARNIVAL".

For those of you who have eight hours to kill on a Sunday afternoon in a night club (2pm - 10pm), then this my friends is for you.

It's like the SBE management has been reading our minds when they came up with this one.

Who doesn't want carnival games, vodka snow cones, dunk your local promoter contest, as well as midgets (excuse me "little people") walking around touching your private parts, or better yet, you touching their private parts all in the name of some clean carnival fun.

I'm gonna vote no on all of the above mentioned "carni" wackiness.

If you don't want to spend time with the family this holiday season, and you would rather pose for pics and drink with a bunch of clowns (seriously, clowns) then step right up and get that vodka snow cone with a little bit of house music, every Sunday afternoon at "Industry"...oops, I meant "Carnival".

Now as cheesy as this Carnival bullsh*t is, I will give them semi-props for at least trying something new and different. Even though this type of sh*t will bring out the pedifiles and wackos, but who cares, right?

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Thanks

Sorry for the delay in postings.

It seems as though someone felt the need to hack into my account and change my password.

All fixed now.

Plus, there really hasn't been much to write about anyway.

The trash spots are still trash, and the hot spots are still luke warm now.

Enjoy your holiday weekend and stay tuned for new post next week.

Happy Holidays!

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Eden?

Really? Eden, huh?

Well, remember that blog post I wrote about inventing the remix?

Seems as though the Syndicate Group has chosen a name for their new venue....wait did just say, "their new venue"...I meant their old venue "Opera".

What really cracks me up is that they are reusing the name of another old venue of theirs. Remember Garden of Eden (which is now called "MyHouse"), well guess what their new/old venue Opera is now going to be called...you guessed it "Eden".

Now take another few minutes to figure out who will be doing the grand opening of "Eden"? I'm just going to let you try and figure that out on your own.

So the next time you get a call, text, Facebook message, tweet, BBM, email or carrier pigeon note saying:

"Hey come to the grand opening of Eden", just reply with:

Hey _____________ (insert promoter guy's name here), I was just their a few months ago when it was called Opera. Matter of fact, I was there with you at your table...Remember???? We went to that after-party in the hills which is where I saw you blowing some guy in the bathroom for coke...Remember???

Anyway, I'm sure the mindless masses will show up trying to get inside once it opens; while the rest of us drive by and laugh at the people waiting in line.

If you had been there when it was Opera, I'm sure the only thing that will change is the fresh new paint, new lighting fixtures with the relocation of couches.

Judging from this ownership group's past projects (MyHouse, MyStudio, East, Crimson, Opera/Eden) it will be hot for maybe four months then fade off of everyone's radar screen.

Click on the above photo for more information.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

The Alliance

What's better: to be feared or loved?

Take a good look because there aren't many pictures taken or articles written about these guys, and by these guys I'm referring to The Alliance.

Make no mistake about it, when you mention their name it strikes an emotional cord to those in the Hollywood nightlife scene. Some good, some bad, but there is no one who is on the fence about them.

While most of you reading this blog were probably in grade school or junior high/middle school, when these guys were throwing some of Hollywood's hottest, and most exclusive parties.

The Alliance was formed roughly 17 years ago (circa early 90's) with Josh Richman as the ring leader, along with partners Shane Powers and Hartwell.

From the Sundance film festival to weekly Hollywood nightlife parties, they have always been able to bring out A-List celebs and young Hollywood's finest to whatever event they were associated with.

Names like Brittney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Tobey Maguire, Sean "P-Diddy" Combs, Paris & Nicky Hilton, along with sports icons such as Kobe Bryant, A-Rod, Reggie Bush, and Tom Brady attend their events regularly (and still do).

They are able to wrangle up celebs, and in turn, that helps bring out the pretty girls and big spenders to their Hollywood club nights. Hollywood nightclub owners seek them out to help open their establishments.

Here is where the hate & love come in to play.

The formula is pretty simple: having big A-List talent walk through the doors of your establishment every week, helps bring better brand awareness to your venue (and also makes the pages of gossip columns, magazines and TMZ).

The problem is this....it comes at a high rate.

While the profit margin for most bars/nightclubs is roughly 25% after cost (which means, after you have covered your operating cost to help pay for your staff, and alcohol, etc. a venue's profit is roughly 25% of the revenue generated for the night). Now most venues will pay out promoters 15% - 20% of the revenue for the night....The Alliance gets 25% - 35%!!! And guess what...everyone in Hollywood has been lining up to give it to them.

Why?

Because for a venue owner if you are able to break even or take a small hit one night a week, but that night helps create "the buzz" for your venue, then you will make more money on your other nights; whereby you pay the other promoters less and sell bottles to random walk ups.

Whenever David Judaken owner of MyHouse, Opera/Crimson, and MyStudio opens a venue guess who he has doing the opening night?

In fact, The Alliance insist on being the only act in town (sorta speak). Their deals are usually based on the fact that: they will take 25% of the night, and that their night, will be the only night open at the venue for at least one month.

Meaning that the venue owners cannot open another night during the week until after one month of being opened. Giving The Alliance the exclusive rights to the place for the first 30 days. Sam Nazarian of SBE agreed to it when they opened The Colony.

Every Hollywood venue must have a so-called A-List night; if they don't then they will usually shut down after 90 - 120 days.

So that's why many of these places pay them. However, to be clear, they just don't work for just any venue. They usually need to know a lot about the ownership before they go into business with them.

Back in the day there were only two names that were able to pull in A-Listers: The Alliance and Brent Bolthouse.

Now a days most venues have no so-called A-List night; which is why you see so many grand openings and grand closings. Also, this is the reason you'll see brand new venues that hold 800+ people, open 5 nights a week (its because they need the money to keep the lights on for another 30 days).

Currently The Alliance are a two member group, instead of a trio (I'm planning on writing another blog post about that later ("the Josh & Shane chronicles").

Their current weekly Hollywood nights are:

Tuesdays @ MyStudio
Thursdays @ Voyeur
Fridays @ The Colony
Saturdays @ Teddy's

*Along with 4 annual events at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood: Memorial Day, 4th of July Pool Party, Halloween & New Years Eve.

Love them or hate them they have out lasted everyone in the Hollywood night life game.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Follow BSFT now

Get the latest up-to-date info on all things that don't really matter, but it sure is entertaining.

Follow BSFT on Twitter (click on the photo above):
http://twitter.com/bottleserviceis

Everyone who follows me, I will follow you.

This way we can direct message (which happens to be the only thing I like about Twitter).

Kress vs LA County Jail

Where would you rather party: Kress in Hollywood or LA County Jail?

Tough call, I know.

However, let's weigh the pro's and con's of both.

Los Angeles County Jail:

Houses various criminals, ranging from rapist, murders, drug dealers, child molesters, car jackers, people who write bad checks, don't pay their child support, as well as those who are mentally unstable.


Kress:

Houses Z-List promoters, douche bags who wear loads of hair gel, Ed Hardy, Affliction, tourists who do bottle service, girls who think shopping at the Slauson swap-meet is couture and high fashion, dudes from the valley who like to make it rain with shacks of $1 bills (usually about $35 in singles), some of the finest cars and people that East LA has to offer, as well as a security staff that used to be in prison (and I don't mean working there...if you know what I mean).

Hmmm.....let's really think about this.

You see, you are bound to see both fighting and rapes happening at both places (which is sad, yet entertaining on some level).

My choice is:



Look at it this way....even with all the fights and jail house rapes...at least you might get a better chance of seeing Lohan, Paris or any other "Young Hollywood" types in county jail, rather then at Kress.

Plus, you can always read a good book (I'm all about education).

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Take that, take that...

The term "we invented the remix/remodel" should be used by the Syndicate Hospitality Group.

On the news that they are in the works to remodel their old establishment(s) "Opera/Crimson", let us take a look at their venues that were once ghost towns, but now are so-called hot spots.

Do you remember the nightclub called "Mood"?


Now it's called "Le Douchebag"...I mean,"MyStudio" (see below).




MyStudio is Mood (remixed).

One of their other venues "MyHouse" was once "The Garden of Eden".


I'm not even sure that MyHouse is even open anymore (perhaps it maybe). When was the last time you were there? That's what I thought.

Then you have their super successful restaurant venture.



Oh no!!!!

Looks like MyRestaurant...oops, I meant "East" restaurant and lounge is shutdown and be closed.

Well perhaps their new venue will be called "MyBankruptcy".

Sorry, the formula that all these nightlife properties use simply do not work and will lead to more grand openings and grand closings.

The 1996 cookie cutter style formula doesn't work anymore and LA nightlife is slowly looking like Vegas.

The readers of this blog are authentic, and real and cannot be...and more to the point will not be fooled with sloppy paint jobs and slick renames.

Once we stop attending these cookie cutter nightlife experiences perhaps they will slowly begin to DIE.

Sure they may have invented the remix/remodel...but can they do something that the competition hasn't done yet.....which is to last longer than six months?

This will be my last post, until my next post.

BBM Lounge Secret Parties...(lame)

The concept was great.

However the execution has been a huge failure.

What started out as a cool concept (having an exclusive, secret, invite only, hard to find, monthly party for Blackberry users in geo-targeted cities); has turned out to be more of a random get together.

The first BBM Lounge event in Hollywood was great (or perhaps it was great because it was new). Now it somewhat feels like a "French Tuesday" type party.

Xomad (the company behind the LA events) has been trying to brand these events as the "Tastemaker Series". What's sad is that there are virtually no taste makers ever in attendance at these events.

So you mean to tell me that these are the "tastemakers" in Hollywood/Los Angeles (see photo below):

*notice how cool the guy is wearing a black crew neck t'shirt, underneath the untucked, button down (over-sized) shirt, with the huge sport coat (Oh, he's fancy, huh?)*

True "tastemakers" at this event (yeah, right).

Once you start having randoms text, Facebook and Twitter about the "secret" location of your so-called exclusive party, then it really isn't for tastemakers. Especially if this is only your third event (and you have made a website about it).

Just to show you how lame Xomad is, I received a Facebook message from Xomad's Marketing & PR lady back in August. I have copied and pasted the Facebook message below:

We are working on a powerful collaboration with a major consumer electronics brand and an integrated Nightlife Events company. We are looking for the"New Taste Makers" and "Social Web Gate Keepers", those that others follow, set the trends and find themselves actually creating the curve, not just trying to keep ahead of it. From what we have seen, you are exactly this person and are perfect to be endorsed and recognized as a trendsetter and tastemaker for brands.

Our goal is to put you in front of brand decision makers with their products and services in your hands. Giving you privileged entry to Talk of the Town Networks/Events and exclusive access to content and upcoming releases, putting you more "In The Know" then ever before and making you more visible to your friends and others.

This summer we will be producing a series of exclusive late night branded events beginning in Hollywood. Our first event launched August 7th at Siren Studios and the second event is in a couple of weeks. We are keeping this group we would like to work with very exclusive, and we'd love to talk to you about being involved!

Please email me back or feel free to call me @ 1.213.785.xxxx ext X

Look forward to speaking with you soon,

XXXXX XXXXXX

Marketing & PR Executive
Xomad Inc.

Question: Why would you be sending this to random people, whom you don't even know? Is this how you get your so-called "tastemakers series" crowd? Judging from the people in the above photo it seems to be true.

Oh well.

It was a great idea and concept, however the word on the streets about Xomad's "tastemaker series" is that, if you attend any of these events, then you my friend, have no taste.


This will be my last post, until my next post.

The Matrix will fool you

This world is divided by two kinds of people: leaders and followers.

Leaders create and have a great vision of things that happen, before they happen.

Followers...well...they simply follow without questioning anything.

You see it on popular online social networks, you see it on television, you really see it in politics and local government as well.

I truly believe in my heart that most of you are born leaders. A great many of you reading this are authentic and unique.

You strive for greatness, yet you feel that those around you are happy with the status quo and being average.

BSFT blog is setup and created for laughing at average people and average things.

Why?

Because these things are so plan to see that most people don't see it and when they do finally see it, they laughed incredibly hard at what it is that I am showing them.

I feel as if we are surrounded by average/middle of the road/blah, blah, blah stuff that it has closed our eyes to some really great things.

I feel that the more I point out the average thinking, and the average ideas and concepts the more you will begin to see the beauty and uniqueness of the many things around you. Whereby, you will then see the average mindless crap without anyone even pointing it out to you.

The Matrix may fool you in the beginning, but it cannot fool you for long.

We need change, and not the Obama kind of change.

The new motto is: Never Settle.

The people in your inner circle need you, we (the other liked minded people) need you, and the tools to see pass the bull shit are there, just waiting. all that's missing is you, and your vision and your passion.

Again, we are now a lot less impressed with average stuff for average people, and we are especially a lot less impressed with loud and flashy tricks and tactics with no real substance behind them.

I am in no way tell anyone what to do.

There is a huge difference between telling someone what to do and inciting a movement.

A movement happens when people talk to one another, when ideas spread within a community, and most of all, when peer support leads people to do what they always knew was the right thing.

Now to some of you reading this....this way of thinking may not be for you...and that's ok. Again, some are leaders, while others are followers.

However, if what I've said sparked your interest, then stay tuned because there is a lot more to come.

Don't let the Matrix fool you!!!

Fuck it (its now up to randoms)

Has the Hollywood nightlife game gone the way of the random, weekend warriors?

When you have total nobodies from Glendale, go out on a Friday or Saturday night to Drai's or Premiere; they see those random guys doing it (by it I am referring to promoting).

They think to themselves "Hey, I can do this". They then begin to pass out fliers out their local community college in the valley and inside other night club.

When that doesn't work, they then find other weekend warriors to team up and water down the nightlife scene.

What makes it worse, is that they do really dumb shit like this (click on the above photo to see what I'm talking about).

Perhaps it maybe time to hang out in Santa Monica now?

This will be my last post, until my next post!

Review: Supper Club (LA)

Look at what's new to Hollywood Blvd!

Basically, if you have been to Playhouse, then you've been to the new Supper Club Los Angeles venue.

Holds a ton of people and will also be the home of random bottle service poppers.

Just like Playhouse, if you are looking for classy, sexy, interesting and attractive people in LA/Hollywood...this ain't the place to be.

Their soft opening this past Saturday night was a bit lack luster and last night (Halloween) for the most part looked like a bunch of people who were barely out of high school, as well as a massive amount of randoms who bought tickets off Craig's List.

My prediction: this venue will try and host a few special events, but after 6 months it will be the next PlayHouse, Vanguard, Kress and Avalon. Home to the weekend warriors and Orange County tourists.

But don't take my word for it...see for yourself.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Watch out

If you walk into a nightclub and there are a bunch of big ass girls taking pictures, and they start breaking out the "jailhouse" or "prison break" poses.....

Then you my friend are in the wrong establishment, and need to make an about face ASAP!!!

Don't get me wrong, I like a little bit of danger in my nightlife experience as much as the next guy....however, big dawgs (girls who are a size 14 and up, weighing 225 lbs or more) with bullet-holes and stab wounds, who date guys named: "Sleepy", "Casper", "lil Psycho", or "Shy-Boy", aren't the type of girls you want to be fooling around with after midnight....if you know what I mean.

On the same note, ladies....if you end up taking some random tough guy home from your local club or bar...and the next morning he's in your shower wearing: soap-on-a-rope around his neck, and wearing flip-flops in the shower....chances are he has done a little time in county, or you met him at Kress in Hollywood.

At any rate, I hope this info helps you out in your nightlife journeys.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Pre-Game/Pre-Party

As many of you probably receive (as well as I do), countless amounts of FaceBook event invites from a host of random so-called promoters.

The funniest thing that most of them write (which is so high school/college frat boy) is "pre-game/pre-party at my house [not the club] then let's head over to the club in the limo, party bus, skateboard, go-cart, etc."

How high school is that?

Why don't you just say:

"hey, I really don't have any money to spend on you girls at the club, let me get you semi-wasted with cheap CVS alcohol or a beer keg w/ big plastic red cups in my apartment with my 7 male roommates, and I'll look like the man walking up with a huge posse, while I get tallied for the large group so I can pay my rent this month."

Step your game up junior(s) and leave the big red plastic cups at the frat house.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Trendsetters don't do Average

It always starts with a small movement.

It always starts with the tastemakers, and the trendsetters first.

When you start catering to a small and select crowd, the masses will follow, no matter if you want them to or not.

I couldn't help but think that at the end of Spring '09/start of Summer '09, a small little movement was created.

Mr Costas Charalambous (Senior VP of Operations at SBE), Dean May, and the Eye Candy Twins (two twin DJs) wanted to celebrate their love for European/Ibiza style house music.

So they started a small Sunday afternoon party on the patio of XIV (14) Restaurant; and by small it started with roughly 60 - 75 people (in the beginning).

The energy and vibe was exactly how they wanted it to be.

So they invited only their friends, and those who were passionate about the scene they wanted to create.

Slowly, friends told other friends.

Then they told their friends.

The next thing you know, it was complete chaos trying to get in.

What was so unique was the fact that this weekly party was during the most odd ball of oddball hours. Sunday afternoons from 5pm - 9pm????

Now, most people in LA usually go to various hotel pool parties Sunday afternoons from noon - 4pm or 5pm. By that time most people are drunk, and tired, so they just go home and get ready for work the next day.

Honestly, it was absolute genius from a business stand point.

Why? Because there was no competition.

Every pool party in the city was over by the time XIV's party was starting, and they had a very relaxed dress code (basically, come as you are...I mean come in whatever).

It actually got to the point whereby at 5pm the line to get inside wrapped around the block in both directions.

I mean, it was a complete mob scene outside before the doors even opened. The photo on this blog post is an actual photo I took at 4:45pm on a Sunday at XIV before the doors even opened.

The point that I am trying to make is this, when you start small, cater to a select few, and create something special by thinking "outside the box" (as they say), then in the end you will be rewarded (everyone knows the large amounts of money that Sunday afternoon party was bringing in).

This is why, I continue to point out the venues that aren't doing it right. Venues in Hollywood and West Hollywood who are putting quantity over quality.

If they continue to only think about today and right now, rather than tomorrow and the following day, then they will continue to fail and close their doors for expensive remodels every 3 - 6 months.

When you start out catering to everyone, you reach no one.

Again, I have been to Premiere in Hollywood the past few nights, and as soon as they went to being open 5 - 6 nights a week, the crowds have been getting smaller, and smaller on average every night.

Why? Because its no longer exclusive.

Now if you can't get inside Premiere one night, that's ok...everyone gets in on Friday nights now.

LA is almost one step away from becoming Vegas....seriously having people inside hotels, and street corners passing out discounted passes for various random venues.

This is why, I personally don't think that big venues like, Kress, PlayHouse, MyHouse, Vangard, Highlands, MyStudio, Avalon and Drai's Hollywood (maybe Drai's will be different because they will continue pumping money into it), etc. will last.

Venue owners, I know that many of you read my blog daily.

My message to you is this: STOP PUTTING PROFITS OVER PEOPLE.

Small is the new big.

That also applies to you random Facebook promoters: STOP ADDING RANDOM PEOPLE AND SPAMMING THEM NIGHTLY WITH THESE WACK ASS VENUES.

All you see are the number of so-called Facebook friends you have, while no one really knows you at all, and you honestly are doing more harm than good.

Stop being a part of the problem and start being part of the solution.

This is my last post, until my next post.

Paris & Nicky's Halloween Party?

Did I really get an invite to the "Paris & Nicky Hilton Halloween Party"?

Wow! The things that just always seem show up in my inbox.

Well, for those of you who can't read the Old English lettering on the invite it reads:

"You're Invited to a private party in the hills, for Paris and Nicky's Halloween Party. Going to be an amazing night! Costume Required.

This Friday (October 29th) starting at 9pm. Please RSVP to (insert rsvp person's name here) ASAP at (insert rsvp email address here) or (insert telephone number here).

See you there! Love, Paris & Nicky xoxo"


I wonder if Alexis Neiers and the Hollywood Hills Bling Ring Burglary Group are going? Perhaps they can either score more jewels, or rob all who are in attendance.

Speaking of getting pretty wild, since this is Hollywood, and this party will be taking place in a private house in the hills.....you know what that means: tons of blow!

It's not an official party in the hills unless you have some of Colombia's finest, (or maybe even, Encino's finest) blow to help set the party off right.

Now don't get me wrong XTC, marijuana, special K and meth will more than likely make a few guest appearances, along with some boner meds for the fellas as well.

There will be half naked women dressed like whores (cute fun whores, not the trashy slutty kind), and fellas they will more than likely be underaged or D-list reality stars trying to squeeze out the very last ounce of fame they think they still have (aka Wilmer Valderrama syndrome).


So enjoy all of your Hollywood Halloween events (just remember to avoid Santa Monica & Hollywood Blvds over the weekend...if you are a local you know why).

This will be my last post, until my next post.

New NightClub (well not really)

Well, its seems as though the "Roxbury" is making a return to Hollywood.

The former "Club Ivar" space will now be called "Roxbury".

If history proves correct, that space has never worked for everyone...so its pretty safe to say that the "Roxbury" will never work.

Just look at the ownerships other venues: "Playhouse", "the Backyard", and "Nine Thirty".

Why would anyone think this place is going to work?

Here is my prediction: it may have some buzz (in the beginning), but it soon will be home to a bad house music night, bottle service, and then it shall be over and done with, only to be called something else in 6 months.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Flashback #4: Facebook Promoters (suck balls)

Which came first, to many nightlife venues, or to many random club promoters?

With the steady growth of online social networks, it is amazing to see the endless number of random club promoters.

Does Facebook help or hurt the current nightlife climate?

I don't know about you but there sure is an explosion, as of late with Facebook friend requests and Facebook event invites.

More and more you begin to receive friend request from people whom you don't know requesting to add you because you either live in a certain area or, perhaps they saw you in a friend's group picture and liked what they saw so they wanted to "collect you", in a weird sorta way.

After you add them, you begin to receive endless amounts of mass messages, event invites and fan page requests (great, they must have been reading my mind...how did they know I wanted to go to PlayHouse tonight).

At any rate, it probably wouldn't be so bad if it only happened every once in a while. But every time you log in to your Facebook account you receive "unbelievable" amounts of messages, wall post and event invites (daily).

If its someone you know, you probably don't think much of it. When its a random name of someone whom you don't know, for some random place you normally don't go to...then its time to change things.

Attn random club promoter: Friending a hundred, or a thousand, or two thousand people on Facebook might be good for your ego but it has zero to do with any useful measure of success.

So please stop with the zillions of event invites!

For those of you that are reading this, who live outside of Los Angeles, its important to note that, Los Angeles is different then most other cities.

The reason why people find it difficult to meet or interact in Los Angeles is that unlike New York or Chicago or Miami, you don't really bump into people.

People travel from their apartment, to their underground parking garage, to their office elevator, to their cubicle and you're not interacting.

L.A. is structured to isolate people.

So that is why (in my opinion) most of these promoters stay online all the time because they are not out meeting people, because that requires hard work (oh, did just say that?).

You can have over 4,000 Facebook friends but if they don't know you, it doesn't mean a damn thing. Except you just wasted a bunch of time adding a bunch of random people.

Which leads me to my next point....if there wasn't so many venues would Joe Blow with 1,000 Facebook friends really need to keep spamming people to come to your wack ass place?

I'm just saying!

So, enough with me ranting and raving.

I'm just losing my mind with all of these countless numbers of FB (Facebook) friend request and event invites from a ton of randoms from all over.

When"Gym, Tan Laundry" starts sending you FB friend request then you know that your time on that site is about to come to a close.

Its almost starting to remind me of MySpace; remember when tons of fake profiles started to invade that site????

I'm just saying.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Flashback #3: Stuck at the door?

"60% of the time...it works every time"....

Guys (men), have you ever gone out to a night club and got stopped at the door, and was forced to wait forever, and was never let inside?

Well, I have a self-help guide for you to follow.

Follow these simple rules and you will never have to worry about problems at any door in America.

Rule #1: Never wear Ed Hardy or Affliction (anything).



The number one thing that any door person looks at is your style of dress, and dressing in this level of clothing style says a few things:

1. either you are a middle aged guy from Orange County;
2. you are an MMA fighter (or in training),
3. you shop on Melrose exclusively,
4. or you are from the Middle East and you are a great lover of House Music.

At any rate, the bottom line is that this simply does not work in your favor whenever you are walking up to a door person that does not know who you are.


Rule #2: DO NOT WEAR ANY AFFLICTION TYPE BOOTS!



The second thing that a door person notices are your shoes; and if you are rocking the Affliction specials...then its probably not going to happen for you.

Hey listen, you are not the Iron Sheik.

You and Nikolai Volkoff are not about to wrestle for the WWF Heavy Weight title Belt (Google any of these names if you don't know what I'm talking about).

I'm not saying you have to rock Prada or D&G on your feet, but do not wear those.


Rule #3: TAKE ALL THAT HAIR-GEL OUT OF YOUR HAIR



Don't be a grease ball, and spike your hair in some way out mohawk fashion.

Nothing says: I'm a douche bag, then having a bunch of gel in your hair with a bad hair style on top of that.


Rule #4: NEVER TRAVEL IN ALL MALE PACKS



Just don't do it.

Feel free to mix in a female or two, for every guy in your group (even if you have to pull them out of line).

Most of the above especially applies to those losers (age 40 and up) who go to the Playboy Mansion every month to hit on underage, wannabe Playmates with shitty plastic surgery.

Don't let this be you!!!

Follow my rules and you shouldn't have any problems at in door in America.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

When the bottles are gone

...so does your so-called friends and girls, playa.

What I find so incredibly funny and remarkable is when you go out, and you have a table with bottles, then all the girls and random dudes want to come by your table and party.

Once you max out your credit card and the alcohol stops flowing, those same people are gone with the wind and you (the card holder) are stuck there paying for everything and are all a lone.

What we tend to call these people are bottle whores.

And Yes, guys are bottle whores too.

The general rule is, if you (as a guy) are at another guy's table, drinking from his bottles (which he is paying upwards of $350 per bottle, for $16 a bottle alcohol btw) you (as a guy) offer to at least pay for it or pay part of it.

Now the guy who's table it is, may not take your money, but its the proper thing to do.

Girls on the other hand, don't go making drinks for your male friends and walking across the club handing it to them (your male friends)...then leave when the alcohol is gone. Girls will tell the guy(s) at the table that they have to either go to the bathroom, or stepping out for a smoke....yeah right!!!!

Ladies, there is a term that guys use and I'm going to tell it to you now...its called: "Ass, Gas, or Cash...no one rides for free".

Translation: you need to be giving up the ass, chipping in for gas, or giving up some cash....because no one is getting by for free. However, most guys will settle for a hand-job under the table.

So next time you are out at the club and you are at a table, understand the proper rules and etiquette of the nightlife game.

Don't be a bottle whore!!!!

Guys at least offer to pay.

Girls at least stick around for a little while once to the alcohol is gone.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

"The Sun Also Rises" - Hemingway

If Ernst Hemingway came to Hollywood today, would this be the place that he would hang out for a drink?

Well, Johnny Zander thinks so.

Johnny is the owner and designer of Hollywood's newest lounge "Hemingway's".

You may remember Zander's past project "Green Door", as well as running Teddy's and the Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt Hotel.

Hemingway's is a very cool lounge/bar on Hollywood Blvd.

However, if you have been to Green Door, and if you have also been to HWood & Tea Room, then you have pretty much seen what Hemingway's looks like inside.

Like Green Door, as soon as you walk in you are automatically in the smoking patio area. After entering through the smoking patio you then walk into the main room; which looks great (however, I felt as though I've been there before).

The only real negative is its location. Located on Hollywood Blvd between Cinespace and Vice, you will more than likely run into Compton's finest on your way inside on the weekends.

Very easy to get in, just say that you are guests of Johnny and will get you inside.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

Stay in school kids

Here's a life lesson kids.

Stay in school and get your education. Take your vitamins, and say your prayers.

Because if you do not, you may grow up to be a loser aka, "Frederick G".

Frederick is a 50 year old, balding loser who longs for his glory days of the past (when he knew celebs, and ran a tight door).

Nowadays, he looks like a cross between a wino and Santa Clause.

He tried working in Vegas (and was sent back to Los Angeles on the first thing smoking).

He has downgraded his life to running a few doors (by few I mean two), and acting as a semi-promoter as well. Shaking guys down at the doors he works at for $10 & $20 or whatever loose change they may have on them (he needs the lunch money or to place that in his 401k).

So remember kids, stay in school.

Because this could be your life if you don't.

This will be my last post, until my next post.

LA Fashion Weak-end

Quick, name one designer from LA Fashion Weekend? Exactly my point!

LA Fashion Weekend is one of the biggest jokes going.

It's completely fucking random.

A bunch of no name designers, hosting a bunch of no name shows, with a bunch of C list promoters hosting their after parties at C list nightclubs in Hollywood.

The funniest part is that its not even a full week. It's a fucking weekend? Let me guess, the people who came up with "LA Fashion Weekend" probably graduated from, or are currently attending FIDM???

Why don't they just hosting these events in Burbank or Orange County?

That way, all the soccer moms, teenagers who like to hangout at the malls can make it to all the shows and upload pictures to their Facebook wall with captions like, "I'm sitting in the front row at the Ed Hardy show, I'm VIP. I got my nails done, hair done, everything did. Oh yeah, I'm fancy huh".

I've said it once, and I'll say it again:

LA is not New York, Paris, London, or even Miami when it comes to fashion week.

Fashion in LA is: tight jeans, t'shirts, button down shirts with skulls & crosses with rhinestones on them (for men). Along with Forever 21's finest & BCBG for ladies.

P.s.,

Shopping on Melrose is not couture folks; because that's were most of these designer's clothes end up being sold anyway.

This will be my last post, until my next post.